Post-exams post

Well, the exams are finally over. Although it didn't feel like they took all that long really, looking back on them. We only had four after all. It's a good thing the lecturers took it fairly easy on us. Usually in this situation, I feel a big void where the hours of study were. Then I'd go drinking for the evening and probably not wake up til late tomorrow morning. That was all grand but it's only a means to an end and if the end turns out to be an end that isn't the end you think it is, as in an ultimate end, then it's definitely not the best way of getting there. It's kind of hard to see the bigger picture but when it dawns, it's a beauiful thing. Anyway, throughout these exams, I've felt much calmer than usual (if that's possible). I think it was a different kind of relaxed though. I used to not worry about things because worrying doesn't help, especially in exam situations. Now though, I just feel totally....fine. It feels like there's nothing missing from my life, no reason to go doing anything crazy just cos everyone else is doing it. It's a really great feeling. I'm not chasing stuff that I think will satisfy an insatiable thirst. It is the ultimate contentment. Now all I have to do is to try and help other people to come to the same realisation and with God's help, I will move some bit towards that this evening. Three very different circles of friends to be 'juggled' for the next while. I just pray that I don't deny Jesus.